Faith – Meet God in His strenght

FAITH
Walking on the Waters – Meeting God in His Strength
Part 1
Walking on waters, eyes fixed on Jesus. Just as I write this line, I see myself already walking on a sea, sometimes agitated, sometimes calm. This famous instruction to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus takes a hold of me each time I’m tempted to crubble under the pressure when doubt assails me. But how to ‘fix’ your eyes on Jesus. Sentimentous phrase in the practice of the believers, but in the concrete, how to go about it. What does that mean? If I do not stay on course, will I sink? Like the apostle Peter, who in his passion and his impetuosity jumped out of the boat and thought it over, as if the very evidences had been effaced, and the voice of that Jesus whom he loved so much, had carried and made tremble with joy to the point of spanning the edge of the boat to think more about it. ‘Take the plunge’. And suddenly the weight and violence of physical reality, and the concrete tangible circumstances, made his faith and fierceness so violently tumble in despair and doubt, but before sinking into the depths of his rough sea, all his heart, his soul, speaks of it: “Lord, save me! For my part, which finds me in this situation, I pass through this portion of the chapter which says: “Perhaps I am mistaken? The moment of a moment, furtive but languid, this anguish assails me. What do you think? Some will comfort me by saying to myself, “Everything will be better tomorrow, it is not the end of the world, or worse, a little like the friends of Job will tell me. You are wrong because you want too much, you dare too much, you dreams in colors, you have need. No my friends, that’s not what I need today. I need to stay firm. I need to stay ‘on the cape’, and I do not need to be consoled to deceive, and I still do not need to ‘reprimand’ me. That is why I will remain silent. Not in the dark, not in depression, but I will remain silent. Not just for the right reason that if I speak, I will have to explain myself, and then, how to explain the inexplicable. I can not explain why: well, I have responded to an invisible impulse, of the kind that one seizes in flight, in a moment at the crossroads of madness and faith, that moment of genius and insane. I grasped it and suddenly I felt myself to be carrying on this adventure towards the advent, towards the depths of my being, in the unknown. I had to discover what Jesus was hiding in this mysterious world of faith. I had to go further, at the end of my security, to test it, to smash it if in my unconsciousness my security was lodged in my capacities. I had to be clear about it. So I made a decision, while praying, to strike the waters of my situation, as Moses took what he had to confront the impenetrable sea. He struck the waters under the instruction of His God and used the small and miserable stick he had in his hand to confront the forces of nature. Placed at the foot of the wall of this stretch of water, the impossible and the unthinkable, the unimaginable occurs. A path was opened not only for him, but for all who walked after him. Unknown … not that much. What I explore after the euphoria has passed, the ‘smells’ of my fears. These fears that were woven gradually in the very heart of my identity. Yes, even within my being that I have acted, reacted and chosen in such and such a way for many years. But the cross-roads in life brings their share of passage or our ‘self’ must live moments of ‘stripping’. It hurts. It hurts in the bowels but is necessary to progress. As my friend Sylvie said to me: Natalie, it hurts but it does not hurt long. The benefits are beyond the momentary pain I know one thing. I am convinced of that. This walk on the waters has the potential to make us aware of the reality of Jesus with us even more tangibly. An effective reality for our earthly life. It is a way to bring the concrete of the Kingdom of God into our everyday workings. Allowing us to access the richness of the revelations that God gives us, transmits us, shares us, communicates us.